


I love beyond the bones

by emilia_kaisa



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Humor, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Not Beta Read, look I know that summary is shit but I really like this fic okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-02
Updated: 2018-04-02
Packaged: 2019-04-17 12:30:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14189016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emilia_kaisa/pseuds/emilia_kaisa
Summary: Yuzuru still looked so much like a boy he had met years before, lanky and skinny, with messy hair and way too big suits. He wasn't a boy, though, not anymore. He was an olympic champion, Javi's training mate, bright and distant like the sun.(AKA- Javier has feelings. It's kinda complicated.)





	I love beyond the bones

**Author's Note:**

> Umm so I'm back with another RPF and I'm not even ashamed anymore. This one is less angsty than my previous works, you're welcome!  
> As always, English is not my first language, but I hope I did a decent job.  
> Title is from 'Bones' by Equonix (highly recommend!).  
> This is very fictional fiction.

 

Javi turned the water on and sighed when the hot stream started caressing his tired body. It had been a weird competition, there in Finland; he was pretty happy with his bronze, but he couldn't wait to go back to Toronto and eliminate all his mistakes. It was just a beggining of the season though, and he felt pretty good overall.

After ten minutes he finally stepped out of the shower; now, without water filling his ears, he could hear Yuzuru's voice coming from their shared room. He was probably still talking with his mother, who had to stay in Toronto because of a flu.

It was a bit unusual for two competitors to share a room, even counting the fact that they were training together every day. But there had been some troubles with booking, and well, that option was cheaper anyway, so everyone was happy. Javier didn't mind; Yuzuru was a nice kid and they were getting along pretty well. They had fun on ice and it was nice to have someone who would motivate you to test your limits.

Javier glared at his reflection in the mirror absently and made a mental note to go and get a haircut. His hair was really getting out of control.

He put on his pyjama pants and looked around for his shirt, but he quickly realized he had left it in the room. Oh well, five minutes shirtless wouldn't kill him.

Yuzuru was laying on his bed; he had ended the call and now was doing something on his phone. He didn't even look up, occupied with whatever he was doing. Probably some game or something, Javi really didn't mind.

Javi narrowed his eyes when he didn't find his shirt on the bed. Where had he put it?

'Hey Yuzu? Have you seen my shirt? Very orange.'

Yuzuru's head shot up and a second later he was on his feet, with a speed that was confusing Javi a lot. Yuzu looked as if he was to run somewhere, but he tripped over his own feet and almost fell on the floor. Javi's relfexes kicked in and he took a quick step forward, one arm wrapping around Yuzuru's waist and the other grabbing his shoulder.

'Hey, easy there.' he chuckled shortly, looking at Yuzu's face 'You okay?'

He raised his head and looked at Javi, his eyes dark and wide open. His face was unreadable and Javi felt concerned for a second.

Then Yuzuru moved forward and pressed his lips to Javi's.

His brain apparently shut down for a moment, because he didn't pull back immediately. His arm around Yuzuru's waist tighten up instintctively, his body responding.

But then Yuzuru sighed softly against his lips and Javi sobered in a heartbeat. He put one hand on the back of the boy's neck and pulled back gently.

'What was that, huh?' he asked softly, keeping his tone light and friendly. Yuzuru's eyes snapped open and for a second he looked just confused. But then the realization hit him and he gaped, trying to make a step back, but Javi was holding him firmly.

'Sorry, sorry.' Yuzuru repeated frantically, his eyes glistening 'So sorry.' his face was red, filled with shame and guilt, and Javi's heart clenched with compassion.

Maybe Javi should feel offended, or at least taken aback, but he didn't. Yuzuru was just a boy, who was still filled with excitement from his win, and in the end he was just a teenager, hormones and all that.

'Come here.' he said and pulled the boy closer. Yuzuru defied for a second, but then he leaned in and hid his face in the crook of Javi's neck. 'There you go.' Javi patted Yuzuru's back lightly; he could feel his ragged breathing on his skin and a few drops that for sure were tears.

'Hey, I'm not mad.' Javi said into Yuzuru's hair 'Just let's not do it again, okay?'

There was a strange sound coming from Yuzuru, something like a strangled sob mixed with a wet chuckle. Then the boy pulled back and Javi let him, watching how he threw himself on the bed and hid his face in the pillow. Javi hesitated for a moment before he sat down next to Yuzuru, putting hand on his shoulder gently.

'Hey, really, it's okay.'

'Really not mad?' Yuzuru's voice was muffled by the pillow and Javi smiled slightly.

'I get it, seriously. You're all excited and I'm super attractive, walking around here shirtless.' he joked and Yuzuru choked. He turned his head a little and looked at the Spaniard with one eye.

'Not tell?' his voice was pleading and it took Javi a moment to realize what he meant by that. His heart clenched with compassion as he thought how lost and unsure the boy was feeling.

'Of course.' he said and there was a ghost of smile on Yuzuru's face 'Don't worry. But you're a decent kisser, you know.' he teased and Yuzuru whined.

'You bad.' he poked Javier's shoulder and the Spaniard grinned.

'But I kiss good, right?' he asked, raising his eyebrows comically and Yuzuru groaned into the pillow.

Javi decided he should stop teasing the poor boy, who clearly was still embarassed beyond belief.

'You know what, let's go downstairs and check if they have hot chocolate, huh?' he knew that the boy was a sucker for sweets, he always had something in his bag and he never forget to share.

'But I buy.'

'Of course you do.' Javier chuckled. There was a flash of realization on Yuzuru's face as he got up and walked to a small wardrobe.

'Here.' he handed Javi his orange shirt and Javi laughed.

'How could I forget I put it in here.'

'Javi old.' Yuzuru deadpanned and a moment later he was running down the corridor, laughing his lungs out as Javi chased him, yelling something about respect.

(Brian was talking with someone in the lobby when he heard a high pitched giggle and he saw his two students running towards the bar, barefoot and apparently in their sleeping clothes. He just shook his head and made a mental note not to put them in the same room ever again, but he couldn't help a fond smile from appearing on his lips.)

 

* * *

 

They didn't talk about it, they didn't have to. As soon as Yuzuru realized that Javi really wasn't mad or annoyed they swiftly went back to normal. They joked and hugged as much as before, without distance or any uneasy feelings. Javi was glad that the boy didn't torment himself too much, because there was really no reason. He was sure that Yuzuru didn't hold any deeper feelings for him and that kiss was only a result of his win- powered excitement and teenage hormones.

It wasn't until the summer shows in Japan. In the evenings most of them gathered in one of the rooms, where they could have fun and drink a little. Yuzuru rarely attended, but that night he appeared, a slight smile on his lips and bottle of water in hand.

'Let's play never have I ever.' Meryl suggested and almost everyone cheered. Javi felt Yuzuru's finger poking his shoulder and he turned to look at him.

'Game?'

'Yeah. Everyone tells us about something they never did and if you did that, you have to drink.' he tried to speak clearly, so Yuzuru would understand. 'You don't have to play if you don't want to.' he added; he knew that Yuzu was pretty private person and maybe he wouldn't like to share information about himself.

'Think is fun.' Yuzuru shrugged his shoulders and opened his bottle.

The first few rounds went smoothly, with some frustration from Javi ('Never have I ever been to Spain, seriously, Charlie?') and laughs caused by Yuzuru ('Never did single axel.') Then it was Alex's turn and he looked around, grinning slyly.

'Never have I ever kissed a guy.'

There was some whining from the girls, but Javi's eyes went straight to Yuzuru, who suddenly looked very stiff, slight blush creeping on his cheeks, and he knew he had to do something.

'Whoa, hold on.' he cut off the cheerful noise 'I think it's a bit too personal, maybe let's leave that one out.'

'Ohh, you wanna confess something?' Maia raised her eyebrows pointedly and someone whistled. Javi just rolled his eyes, not affected at all.

'I think it's nobody's business, that's it.'

'Yeah, he's right, let's not touch anything personal.' Meryl supported him and after a moment everyone agreed. Maybe some of them would get a bit suspicious about Javi, but he didn't really care. There was a lot of guys in the room and he was sure that at least one of them would like that question to go away. Alex asked something about eating pasta then and Javi drank absently, his thoughts circling around the boy sitting on his right. Then he felt a soft hand covering his for a second, a short squeeze in a silent _thank you._

Javi's chest suddenly felt very tight.

***

Since that moment his eyes were drawn to Yuzuru more often.

He wondered how much he knew about his rinkmate. They were friendly, they were a good team, but they weren't really close. It was hard to explain to other people, who were seeing it all from the outside. And in the end, they were competitors, and no matter if they liked each other or not, that was the thing that was setting rules between them.

He knew what everyone knew- that Yuzuru was talented and hard working, that he loved music and Winnie- the- Pooh, and that he was sometimes a bit too emotional. It was nothing deep, nothing special.

But he also knew that he was stubborn beyond belief, and that he had a funny habit of snapping his fingers when he was trying to recall something. He could recognize a flicker in Yuzuru's eyes, a signal for Javi to explain something the boy couldn't understand. He knew the heat of his hand and the fluttering of his breathe against Javi's cheek.

It was unusual. It was weird. But at the same time Javi thought that it was their normality.

 

* * *

 

Barcelona was a roallercoaster. Javi's disastrous short and come back in a free, Yuzuru and Sergei sharing the podium with him. It was fun, standing in the light with his two rinkmates, exchanging smiles and warm congratulations. Then it was the gala, his crowd cheerful and welcoming, his heart full.

But in one moment it became too much even for him. The attention, emotions, the weight of expectations- suddenly it was so overwhelming he couldn't breathe. Maybe a home champion shouldn't leave the banquet, but it was already late, people loose and relaxed, so he guessed no one would notice if he sneaked out for a moment.

It wasn't exactly quiet on that balcony, the sound of streetlife mixing with a muffled music coming from the banquet. But there was no one there, and Javi took a deep breathe, inhaling night air.

He was happy, but so, so tired.

There was a crack of the opening door and quiet footsteps.

'You okay?'

Javi turned a little and sent Yuzuru a smile.

'Yeah, just wanted to get some fresh air.' he tilted his head, eyes focusing on Yuzuru's face 'You?'

It wasn't just about that moment and Javi hoped the other knew that. It had been a painful ride for Yuzuru; there had been so many moments when he wanted to tell him to maybe take it easy, slow down, take care. But he knew he had no right to do that.

'Yes.' Yuzuru said qickly. Javi knew better though, the truth clear in Yuzuru's eyes, but he didn't comment it. Yuzuru still looked so much like a boy he had met years before, lanky and skinny, with ridiculously not fitting suits. He wasn't a boy, though, not anymore. He was an olympic champion, Javi's training mate, bright and distant like a sun.

'Javi?'

The Spaniard shook his head, realizing that he had drifted away for a moment.

'Sorry.' he smiled, reaching out to touch Yuzuru's cheek. His thumb brushed over a fresh scar on the other man's chin and Yuzuru jerked a little, something dark flashing in his eyes. Javi flinched and cursed himself internally for touching that sensitive spot 'Sorry.' he repeated, taking a step back. His hand slipped off Yuzuru's cheek, but the he made a quick move, his hand catching Javi's, their fingers linking.

There was a sudden spike of tension and Javi's heart sped up.

_What...?_

They had touched countless times before, but it had never felt like that. Their eyes met and Javi's throat was suddenly dry, his thoughts running in confusion.

Someone laughed loudly just on the other side of the balcony door and they jumped away from each other, their fingers untangling. Javi didn't even have a chance to look at Yuzuru's face properly, because he was already turning away, his silhouette and eyes unreadable.

'Goodnight, Javi.' he said quietly and then he was gone, leaving Javier utterly confused.

* * *

He won his third European title in a row, maybe not in the best style, but a win was a win and he was glad. He spent his evening after press conference on convincing Michal to leave his room. The Czech was still brooding over his unfashionable finish, but in the end Javier managed to drag him to the hotel bar.

'Don't worry, man, it happens to all of us all the time.' Javi patted Michal's shoulder and his friend sighed.

'I know. It's just... I've been fourth at worlds twice, Javi, and I don't think I can top this. It feels like it's all going downhill and I can't change that, no matter how hard I try.'

'Hey, don't say that. After Sochi I was thinking the same, but you can overcome everything.' Javi tried, flinching slightly at the memory.

'In a few years kids will be doing five quads and we'll be so behind, mark my words.' Michal said gloomily and then sighed again 'Sorry man, I'm a bad company tonight. You're a champion, you should be celebrating.'

'Nah, I'm good.' Javi said with sympathy 'How's Danielle?' he changed the topic, hoping it would cheer Michal up.

He was right, as the Czech's face lit up with a smile.

'Amazing. She's the best.' Michal said with that characteristic smile of his and Javi almost chuckled, happy that he was able to change his friend's mood so quickly. But then Michal spoke again 'I'm going to ask her to marry me' and Javi almost choked on his drink.

'Woah, that's- congrats, I guess?'

'You're invited for a wedding, if she'll have me.'

Michal's face was radiant as the sun, and Javi really felt happy for him. But at the same time he felt a weird pressure in his chest. _I wish I could love someone like that._

'Hey, it might be a weird question, but... how do you know she's the one?' he asked carefully. He didn't want to sound offensive or anything, but he was really wondering. He had been in love a few times, but they always drifted apart, the distance becoming too much. He was kind of used to break ups by now, however sad that sounded.

'I don't know what to tell you, man.' Michal smiled slightly 'It's not like I can't live without her, because I can. I don't really want to, tho.' he chuckled shortly 'I think the key is that she just gets me, you know? She understans my life and how it looks like, and she still chose me.' he shrugged his shoulders, grin spreading on his face 'I just love her. And she loves me back. I'm a lucky guy.'

Javi smiled and put a hand on Michal's shoulder.

'And I'm really happy for you.'

It all went smoothly from there. Sergei and Aleksei joined them soon and they all had fun over beers, exchanging news and jokes, and it felt warm and friendly.

He wished he could have that more often.

He wondered for a moment, who was the person closest to him? He thought about his mother, his sister, his father. He loved them more than anything, but did they really understand? They were loving and supporting, but even they couldn't get everything.

Then a name popped into his thoughts, a quiet whisper in the back of his head.

Javi shook his head and took a big sip of his beer, trying to swallow every thought and question he had.

 

* * *

 

It hit him in Shanghai.

It was a blur, never- ending streak of emotions, weight of expectations, almost unbearable relief when it dawn on him that he had won. And then he found himself in Yuzuru's embrace, his ragged breathes hot against Javi's neck, his hands shaking and voice trembling with tears.

And then in hit him suddenly, the memory, a ghost of a feeling from many years before.

_Don't._

His fingers curled on Yuzuru's neck as he tried to fight an urge to pull him closer.

 

Javi didn't like it at all.

Maybe he was single for too long and now his mind was going crazy? Add stress of the competition and the disatster was ready.

Javi closed his eyes and exhaled deeply, taking in the noise of Shanghai beneath him. Balcony was always a good thinking place for him, and he hoped now he would figure everything out too.

He had almost forgotten about that kiss. It had been chaste and childish, and it faded away after a few days. Why it was back now, intrusive and screaming in his head?

The thing was, he was never attracted to men. Never had felt a temptation, until today, for that brief moment frozen in time.

He shook his head and decided firmly not to think about it. It was stupid and pointelss, his mind apparently so dazed after his win that it started freaking out about something buried in the past.

He had to get a grip.

 

* * *

 

'Great job! Take five and then do a run-through of that step sequence once again, okay?'

'Sure.' Javi smiled at Brian and skated to the spot he had left his water bottle before.

'Looking sharp.' Gabrielle grinned from the bench on the other side of the boards 'You really wanna get that gold in Barcelona.'

'Probably more than another world title.' Javi said and he was only half joking.

'I'll be rooting for you.' she said conspiratorially and then waved to someone behind Javi 'Oh hey Yuzu!'

'Hello.' Yuzuru said politely as stopped next to Javi 'How are you?'

'Good, just got here. You?'

'Need train much.'

Javi knew that Yuzuru was still upset because of his second place on Skate Canada. Add to that losing the world title earlier that year and he became focused, cool machine, with only one goal and fire in his eyes. It was so like him, Javi wasn't surprised at all.

'Hey, can I've a question for you?' Gabrielle gave Yuzuru a bright smile 'I've read somewhere that 24th of December is like a Valentine's Day in Japan. Is it true?'

Javi had never heard about it, so he looked at Yuzuru with interest. He blinked a few times, clearly looking for an easy way to explain the topic.

'True. People go to date, good time to propose.' he finally said and Gabrielle clapped, clearly delighted.

'Ooh, this is so romantic.' then her smile turned a bit sly 'Ever went on a date on that day?'

Yuzuru shook his head fiercely.

'No, no, no date.'

'Really? Not even a mistletoe kiss?' she teased him again and there was a blush creeping on Yuzuru's cheeks, and of course Javi's brain made a salto.

_Nope._

'Jeez, you're so nosy.' Javi rolled his eyes, but sent Gabrielle a smile 'Come on, before you die of embarassment.' he grabbed Yuzuru's elbow and dragged him to the center of the rink.

'Thank you.' Yuzuru muttered, his cheeks still pink, and Javi shrugged his shoulders.

'Sure. She means to harm tho, you know.'

'I know.' Yuzuru nodded, not looking at Javi 'But personal. Don't like talk.'

'Yeah, I know.' Javi said without thinking and Yuzuru raised his head quickly, their eyes meeting.

It was Barcelona all over again, a spike of tension, lips going dry, gazes dark and locked.

Javi couldn't breathe. His thoughts were running around in panic, matching the hysterical rhytm of his heart.

_Don't, don't, don't._

'Javi! What about that run-through?'

The moment broke and Javi almost tumbled, Yuzuru already skating away in the opposite direction. He took a deep breathe and tried to remember how his step suquence even looked like.

Focusing had never been so hard before.

 

* * *

 

Javi waved to Yuzuru and smiled, but the other only nodded in his direction before turning and skating away. Javi sighed quietly and turned to Brian, ready to discuss his new programs.

_It shouldn't bother me that much._

He was never real friends with Yuzuru, they weren't insanely close, so that cold treatment shouldn't really be a surprise or anything. Losing the second world title in a row really had done something to Yuzuru; he was even more focused and determined than ever, barely registering people around him. Most of the time he was choosing to ignore Javi, which was quite saddening, looking at how friendly they had been in the past. Maybe things had been too good before, and now reality was catching up to them. Maybe there was no real friends among athletes.

It hurt, just a little bit.

 _Maybe that's better._ _For both of us._

***

'Are you mad at me?' words left Javi's mouth before he had a chance to think, and he cursed himself internally.

'What?' Yuzuru looked at him from the other side of the locker room 'Say again?'

'No, nothing.' Javi waved, hoping that the other would let that go. He should have known better,

'Javi.' Yuzuru narrowed his eyes dangerously and wow, that was already more words than they had exchanged the whole June. So Javi took a deep breathe and decided to just go with it.

'Are you mad at me? That's what I asked.'

Yuzuru's eyes widened, lips parting as if he was suprised, but he didn't say a word. Javi sighed.

'I'm sorry, it wasn't fair. Forget about it, okay?'

He felt bad for bringing that up. It was no one's fault. He gave Yuzuru a weak smile and turned around to grab his bag, wanting to leave as fast as possible.

'Javi.' Yuzuru's voice was strangled and Javi's fingers froze. He turned to look at Yuzuru, whose eyes were dark and glistening. Javi felt guilt squeezing his heart at the sight, he never wanted to make him feel bad. He opened his mouth, ready to apologize again, but Yuzuru was quicker 'I'm sorry.'

Javi's fingers were itching to touch Yuzuru, but he didn't know if that gesture would be welcomed anymore. He didn't know anything these days.

'You are good.' Yuzuru said quietly and Javi's mind went blank for a second 'But never think you can beat me. Not twice.'

It hurt only for a moment, a short pang in Javi's chest, but then it was gone.

'I'm sorry.' Yuzuru repeated, his voice trembling slightly, and Javi's heart clenched.

'Hey.' he stepped closer and wrapped his arms around Yuzuru, pulling him to his chest 'It's okay.'

Yuzuru let out a quiet sob and Javi felt an overwhelming sadness. He swallowed past the lump in his throat and put one hand on the back of Yuzuru's neck 'It's just how it is, right? How it's gotta be.' he whispered and Yuzuru tensed in his arms. He pulled back, his eyes meeting Javi's.

Suddenly there was no air between them. The time seemed to slow down, the sound was muffled, Yuzuru's skin was too hot, his eyes too dark.

Yuzuru's eyes dropped to Javi's lips and then got back, his gaze fiery and bright.

Javi didn't know who moved first.

Their lips met with a burning force, half sweet and half desperate, breathes mixing and hands roaming. Javi couldn't think, there was only a feeling, electricity in his veins and fire under his fingertips. It was as if the world disappeared, it was only them, lips meeting with an urgent need, holding on to each other as they were the only sure things in the universe.

Javi didn't know how long they were lost like that, a few seconds or a lifetime, but they had to pull away at some point, both breathless and overhelmed. Javi's hands were resting on Yuzuru's neck and he could feel blood circling in his veins.

Javi knew that it would be different from what had happened four years before- they would have to talk about it now.

'What was that.' Yuzuru whispered shakily against his lips and Javi almost chuckled. One of his hands traveled to the back of Yuzuru's head, his hand curling lightly in his hair.

'Are you mad?' he asked and Yuzuru shook his head and leaned a little, his lips brushing against Javi's, the lightest touch sending a shiver down his spine. Yuzuru stepped even closer, pressure of his lips firmer, and Javi had to use all his willpower to stop him gently.

'Wait a moment.' he said, his voice a bit hoarse. Yuzuru raised his head to look at him and there was a flicker of panic in his eyes, and Javi's heart stuttered, his hand coming to touch Yuzuru's cheek 'Hey, no, I don't mean...' he exhaled deeply, his mind still dazed. He leaned forward a bit, his forehead resting against Yuzuru's 'We need to talk about it.'

He hoped that Yuzuru understood. It wasn't just a kiss. It wasn't the same as in Finland and they weren't those kids anymore. There was so many new emotions and feelings now, buzzing just under his skin, and it wasn't something they could just get over with, something they could forget about.

'Yes.' Yuzuru said, his voice quiet 'Talk tomorrow?'

Javi liked that idea. He was in no state to do any serious talks in that moment. He needed time to cool down, to think, and he wanted Yuzuru to have a moment for himself too.

'I'll meet you after practice.' he muttered and let their lips meet once again in a short, sweet kiss.

(Brian was wondering why his student was wearing that weird expression while walking down the corridor, with glassy eyes and mysterious smile. Five minutes later Yuzuru exited the locker room, his face almost reflction of Javi's, and Brian knew that it meant trouble.)

***

Balcony was Javi's favourite thinking place.

He sat on his old chair, wearing his favourite hoodie, the biggest cup in his hands.

So, he had feelings for Yuzuru. He cared for him. He wanted to know him better, he wanted to kiss him, he wanted to hold his hand. He wanted to make him smile, always.

Could he love him, though?

He thought about what Michal had said in Stockholm, his face bright and sure.

_She understans my life and how it looks like, and she still chose me._

Their lives were already complicated, that fragile balance on rivarly and friendliness. But Javi thought, with a sudden confidence, that he would risk it. That he would choose Yuzuru, that he would give them a chance.

But would Yuzuru choose him too?

***

Their practice went smoothly and it was good to know that Javi could still focus, despite the emotional storm inside his head. After training they packed their bags silently and Javi led Yuzuru to a coffee shop nearby, that also had a nice choice of tea. They sat by a small table next to a window and they finally looked at each other, small smiles playing on their lips.

'So-' Javi started, but Yuzuru waved his hand, cutting him off.

'Can first?' he asked and Javi smiled and nodded. Yuzuru relaxed a little; clearly he had something prepared and he really wanted to say it 'When lose, I'm very upset. Even if it you.' Yuzuru winced a little at his own words 'But Javi.' he leaned forward, his gaze dark and intense 'I never hate you. I can't.'

Javi's chest was suddenly so full he was scared he wouldn't be able to breathe.

'I know.' it was all he could say, but that was enough to Yuzuru, whose face lit up with a smile 'So, what do you want to do?' Javi asked and Yuzuru's smile turned soft, unsure. He looked down at his tea, his fingers fiddling with a napkin. Javi let him be silent for a moment, but he felt a nervous pang in his chest.

Fianally, Yuzuru looked up at him, his eyes determined.

'I want this.' he said and Javi's heart skipped a beat 'With you. You-' he chuckled nervously and it was the most adorable sound Javi had ever heard 'You make me better. You make better everything. And I want have you.' he said with a boyish smile and Javi felt blush creeping on his cheeks. Leave it to Yuzuru and his weird English to say something like that.

'Well, good thing I wanna have you too.' he said and reached out to linked his fingers with Yuzuru's 'But there's some thing we gotta talk about.'

'Okay?'

'I don't think we should tell anyone.'

He wanted to be with Yuzuru, he wanted to try so bad. But he knew that if the world knew, it would turn into a nightmare. Press would go crazy, trying to get every detail out of them, making a sensation out of them. Javi was sure that they were pretty safe in Toronto- well, excluding The Cricket Club- but everywhere else they would have to be extremely careful. Javi didn't know if Yuzuru would want something like that, but that was sadly the only way Javi could agree on right now, however hard it was.

'Yes, agree.' Yuzuru said quickly and Javi breathed out with relief 'Would be bad. People crazy.' he scrunched his nose and Javi couldn't help but laugh at that statement 'But not forever?' Yuzuru asked, hope shining in his eyes and Javi's heart clenched once again.

'You know it's gonna be difficult, right?' he said quietly, because he needed Yuzuru to be sure.

'Already is.' Yuzuru said with a melancholic smile and Javi couldn't help himself. He leaned over a table and pressed a kiss to Yuzuru's lips. It was short and chaste, but enough to make his heart speed up a little bit.

'But we're gonna take it slow, okay?' Javi asked with a grin 'We've jumped over so many steps.'

'What?' Yuzuru tilted his head, confused.

'I mean, I don't even know what kind of music you listen to. I don't- I don't know so many things about you. And I want to know everything.'

Yuzuru's smile was wide and radiant like a sun, but now he felt so very close.

 

'You gotta get into that bus.' Javi muttered, but Yuzuru kissed him again and Javi lost ability to speak for a moment 'Your mother will kill me if you don't get home.'

Yuzuru pulled away with a quiet groan, sparks dancing in his eyes.

'See you tomorrow?'

'You bet you will.' Javi looked over Yuzuru's shoulder and saw that the bus driver- an older man with grey moustache- was watching them with a fond smile. Javi grinned and kissed Yuzuru's nose, making the other man giggle. It was kind of weird how affectionate they were already, but hey, they were unusally touchy for the past few years, so that was their normality.

Yuzuru waved to him from the bus and Javi knew, with full certainty, that he would fight for it.

(And they did.)

 

* * *

 

('I can't believe you say you don't like my environment! What it mean?'

'Uhhh, you know I'm bad with press. I don't even know what I wanted to say.'

'You are impossible!'

'But you love me, right?'

'I'm thinking.'

'Hey, come here, you little-!')

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Like it? Hate it? Can I post my very angsty one shot soon? Let me know!  
> Thank you so much for reading!


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